The uneasiness of the winter is making me have a blurry vision. I can not really tell where it will end. Nor am I positive at what exact moment it started. I guess it wasn't a specific moment. I just kind fell in this place, but really was able to make my decisions on my own and not have to worry about anyone except my self. And that was why it has been so easy. Easy enough for me not to care.
I love my job. And I love Pel. Amazing friend. So good to me and I love that she is try ing to make me stay here. But the superficiality of this city is still always waiting around the corner.
But their is no inspiration, and nothing that keeps me interested. My sanity lies in my knowing that it will end within a year, maybe earlier. And that its all just another dinner party. The lavish ideas, and the over spending. The catered lunches and the limo driver that greets me every morning is all too good to be true. But this is where I am. Its everything that was missing for 9 years, and everything I had been running away from when I was younger. My challenge to myself now? To find the balance.
Istanbul is booked again.
Then I am off to Athens.
And a new leap of faith...
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