I still dream of Orgonon.

I wake up cryin'.
You're making rain,
And you're just in reach,
When you and sleep escape me...


And every time it rains you are here in my head.

I sat at the table on my own. An octopus salad and pan seared salmon. $60.00 on my own. It felt good. For a moment. But it was over quickly.

I question what I am doing.
Why am I alone.
Again.
Why do I have to endure the pushing away and the pulling in with words but nothing there at the end of the day.
I am suppose to be patient.
I am suppose to be strong.
I am suppose to be forgiving and understanding.
But when it crushes my heart. When I am left with out trust. How am I am I suppose to hope for the best. What is left for me?

take me away.
Take me.
through the hardest days take me.
through the brightest sun light take me.
like the sun coming out,
i just know that something good is gonna happen,
And I don't know when,
But just saying it could even make it happen.